I think i might have an eating disorder, but i'm 5'0 and 105 lbs!!!!?

i compulsively count calories. i weigh myself whenever i can. i shake when i try to eat because it scares me. i feel huge. i have to stand or lie so no part of my body touches itself, or i'll be utterly disgusted. i feel like a cow. i feel like everyone stares at me because i am so fat. i eat as little as possible, but i can't do it during the summer. sometimes i binge. or just lose control completely. i chew up food and spit it out to avoid the calories. i want to see my bones. i can't see them. i have an inability to eat normally--sometimes i tell myself i'm fine and i try to eat normally, not thinking about the calories, but i can't. but then i'll do stupid things like eat pudding or peanut er because i can't control everything, and i get depressed and can't keep control. i have lost about 12 lbs. i got down to 98 lbs at my lowest, but it's summer and i usually throw away my food at school but i can't now. i have nightmares every night about food and counting calories.